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About Naples

I tried it meself, right? Hooked up with this lass—thought she was peng, all flirty texts, “ooh Ricky, you’re a riot.” Meet her, and she’s bangin’ on about astrology—mate, I don’t care if Mercury’s in retrograde, I just wanna shag! *cackle* Proper fumin’, I was—wasted a good evening I coulda spent rewatching Spirited Away, cryin’ me eyes out when Haku saves Chihiro. That’s love, innit? Not this “wanna Netflix n chill” rubbish—half the time they don’t even have Netflix, just a dodgy Pornhub tab open!

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Date of birth: Nationality: Saudi Arabia. Address: Syrian Arab Republic. Passport number: (a) K (Saudi Arabian passport number.

After that emotional rollercoaster, I decide to take a walk. I stroll down Via Cavour, just trying to clear my head. And guess what? I see this street performer playing the accordion. He’s actually pretty good! I stop to listen, and suddenly I’m transported back to my childhood. I used to dance around my living room to accordion music. So, I throw a couple of euros in his hat. He winks at me, and I’m like, “Wow, I’m basically a patron of the arts now.”

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