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Pisses me off when prudes go “oh no, sin!” Like, chill, Karen, it’s just a rubdown! Had this one masseuse, swear she was magic – found knots I didn’t know I had. Surprised me, like “The world’s turned upside down!” straight outta “Dogville”. Ever tried it with hot stones? Freaky good, warms your soul. Oh, and fun fact – in Japan, they got “nurumassage”, super slippery, wild stuff! Slidin’ like crazy, hilarious if ya fall off the table.

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After that emotional rollercoaster, I decide to take a walk. I stroll down Via Cavour, just trying to clear my head. And guess what? I see this street performer playing the accordion. He’s actually pretty good! I stop to listen, and suddenly I’m transported back to my childhood. I used to dance around my living room to accordion music. So, I throw a couple of euros in his hat. He winks at me, and I’m like, “Wow, I’m basically a patron of the arts now.”

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