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But then—anger! She’s teasin’, lingerin’ too long, chargin’ extra! “What’s this, a tax for breathin’?” I hiss, like Gollum cursin’ hobbitses. Stupid, fat hobbit would pay, not me! I argue, she shrugs—says it’s “energy work.” Bollocks! Still, them hands… sneaky, clever, findin’ spots I didn’t know ached. Little fact—didja know some cultures ban it? Call it sinful, lock it up! Makes me laugh, idiots missin’ out.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I head over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s beautiful there, with the fountain and all. I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides my lap is the perfect landing spot. Ugh! I’m flapping my arms like a maniac, and people are staring. Great, just great.

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