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About Florence

Great Scott! Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! Picture this – steamy room, dim lights, hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “The Lives of Others” – that tension, y’know? Like when Wiesler’s listenin’ in, heart racin’. Erotic-massage got that vibe – secret, intense, kinda forbidden. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not just rubbin’ backs! It’s an art, dude – ancient as hell. Heard the Romans were freaky with it – oiled up gladiators gettin’ kneaded after fights. True story, swear it!

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Finally, I think I’m done for the day. I’m exhausted, but then I get a call about a ferret. A ferret! I’m like, “Seriously? Who has a ferret in Carnate?” I rush over to this house near the park, and the ferret is just running around like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, and it’s like a furry little ninja. I’m sweating, laughing, and cursing all at once.

The Frou Frou Club Hallowe'en Spooktacular comes to Todmorden - performers include Evelyn Carnate, Lady Wildflower and more