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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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By the time I get home, I’m beat. I flop on my couch, thinking about all the craziness. Carnate is wild, man. One minute you’re saving a cat, the next you’re wrestling a ferret. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This city, with its charming streets and quirky pets, keeps me on my toes.

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