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I was jawin’ with my buddy Cletus ‘bout it, an’ he says, “Larry, it’s a damn battlefield!” Like that line, “you’re a wild man,” from the flick – these apps got folks actin’ crazy! Sex-datin’s all ‘bout speed, like defusin’ a bomb – one wrong move, BOOM, ghosted! I seen some profiles so horny they’d make a preacher blush – GIT-R-DONE! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘03, some dude invented speed-datin’ fer singles, an’ now it’s morphed into this digital bangfest.

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I head to the beach at Capaci. The sun’s shining, the water’s sparkling. I’m ready to chill. But guess what? I forgot my towel. Classic me! So, I just lay on the sand like a beached whale. I’m trying to soak up the sun, but I’m also paranoid about seagulls swooping down. They’re like flying rats, man!

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