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But mate, it ain’t all rosy, nah. Some punters are nutters – violent twats, makes me wanna smash somethin. “Sharon!” – wish I could zap ‘em, y’know? Then there’s the law, always fuckin’ sniffin round, bustin girls for just survivin’. Pisses me off! Tho, gotta say, some escorts I’ve met – sharp as knives, mate. One told me she paid her uni fees, fuckin’ brainiac, that! Surprised me, y’know, thought it was all dumb dollys – nah, some are queens.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Marina Grande. The vibe there is just electric. Boats everywhere, people chattering, and the smell of fresh seafood wafting through the air. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich. Like, dude, chill! It’s not your lunch! I’m flailing my arms, looking like a total idiot.

Capri Sun launches 1st-ever Moon Punch ahead of total lunar eclipse