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Here’s the kicker—Escorts were dirt cheap, like $5k new! Workin’ folks could nab one, not bow to billionaire car moguls. Made me happy, real happy—stick it to the 1%! But then—THEN—Ford juiced ‘em with shitty plastic interiors, broke down faster than my patience at a tax loophole hearin’. Pissed me off, man! “They don’t make time!” Celine says in the movie, and yeah, Escort didn’t make time either—rusted out by ‘99. Saw one sittin’ in a junkyard once, felt like I lost a comrade.

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Then, the afternoon hits. I swear, it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I get a call from a guy on Via dei Fiori. He’s yelling about a “mysterious noise” coming from his basement. I’m like, “Dude, it’s probably just your neighbor’s cat.” But no, he insists it’s something supernatural. I’m half tempted to tell him to call Ghostbusters. But instead, I connect him to the local police. They need a laugh, right?

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