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Oh, an’ the slang – “DTF”, “NSA” – it’s a code, innit? Like a secret club! I’m muckin about, yellin “Sharon!” when I match, cos it’s mental – ya never know who’s next. Could be a stunner, could be a troll. “The past is a memory!” – movie line, fits perfect. Don’t dwell on bad lays, keep swipin!

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So, we finally sit down, and I’m trying to explain the whole investment thing. But Marco? He’s more interested in talking about his cat, Gigi. Like, dude, I get it, Gigi’s cute, but we’re talking about your future here! I’m trying to keep it professional, but I can’t help but chuckle when he pulls out his phone to show me a million pics of Gigi in various costumes. I mean, who dresses their cat like a pirate?

Italian city council demands end to the blockade against Cuba