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Worst date? This chick kept talkin’ about her ex. Whole dinner, yap yap yap. I’m thinkin’, “I must break you” – not her, the ex! Dumped her ass quick. Best date? Met this barista – yeah, ironic – we banged in her car after coffee. Steamier than the espresso machine, bro. Sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, it HITS.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute café on Ulica Mihovila Pavlinovića. I can’t resist. I grab a coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. Tourists takin’ selfies, locals just chillin’. It’s a good vibe, ya know? But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my croissant! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my breakfast!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” I swear, those birds are the real bosses of Zadar.

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