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About Naples

Listen up, idiot sandwich! Been readin’ up—did ya know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled for clients. How’s that for a laugh? Makes me wanna scream—bloody brilliant! But nah, some of these modern escorts? Lazy sods! Charging a grand for what? A wink and a cold coffee? Piss off! I’d cook ‘em a better night—lamb shank, boom, sorted!

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Then, I decide to hit up the local market on Via della Repubblica. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, and they’re like, “Eat me, I’m delicious!” I’m all about that fresh life. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a melon. It’s hilarious! He’s like, “I’ll give you two euros!” And the vendor’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s five.” I’m dying laughing.

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