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About Bari

I’m proper chuffed growin’ it meself, though. Stick it in the dirt, water it, boom - grows like a chav on benefits! But Christ, it stinks sometimes - like a wet dog shat itself. Pissed me off first time I sniffed it, thought, “What’s this bollocks?!” Then I see them bees buzzin’ round it, happy as Larry, and I’m like, “Fair enough, you little stripy bastards.”

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Then, during lunch, I decided to hit up this little café on Via Etnea. Best decision ever! The arancini there are to die for. I ordered two, and they were gone in seconds. I was so happy, I almost forgot about the morning chaos. But then, I stepped outside, and it started pouring! Like, seriously? I just got my hair done!

Confess the mother of Elena Del Pozzo, perhaps killed out of jealousy