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Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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But wait! It gets better. I decide to head back home, right? I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Whoa, dude! Chill!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who needs a horror movie when you have Calvizzano street performers?

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