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Me, I got happy as a pig in mud first time I tried it. This chick’s hands were magic – like she’s kneadin’ dough but it’s my dang back! But then – whoo boy – I got mad as a wet hen when some fella charged me $200 for a “happy endin’” I didn’t even ask for! Rip-off city! I’m yellin’, “That ain’t in the script, hoss!” Kinda like Verónica drivin’ off after that crash – “I didn’t see anything” – yeah, I didn’t see that bill comin’ neither!

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? My boss is already there, lookin’ all serious. I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s just coffee.” But he’s all about the business talk. I zone out, thinking about the sweet pastries they have. Those pirozhki? To die for!

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