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About Bologna

Erotic-massage, it’s a proper cheeky art, innit? Not just some tarted-up spa day – nah, it’s old as balls. Ancient Greeks were at it, slappin’ oil on blokes before they wrestled – bit of a homoerotic knead, if you ask me. Bet they didn’t moan about it though, bunch of tough sods. Fast forward, now it’s all “tantric this” and “sensual that” – makes me wanna gag, but also, sign me up, yeah?

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First off, I get a call from a customer. This dude, Marco, he’s all like, “Hey, my stove’s broken!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you just bought it last week!” Turns out, he tried to cook pasta and forgot to add water. Classic Marco, right? I mean, who forgets water? So, I’m like, “Bro, you gotta pay attention!” But I fix it anyway. Gotta keep the customers happy, ya know?

Matt Zone