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Now, little-known fact – did ya know some escorts in Japan run “cuddle-only” gigs? No hanky-panky, just spoonin’! Blew me mind, that! I was like, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for life!” Imagine pitchin’ that to the lads – “Fancy a cuddle sesh, boys?” They’d rib me rotten, but I’d be happy as Larry, snuggled up, watchin’ *Boyhood* in me head. “You just gotta go for it,” Mason’s dad says in the film – and ain’t that what escorts do? They dive in, no faff, no fuss!

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But then, I look around. The rain’s hitting the vineyards, and it’s kinda beautiful. The way the droplets dance on the leaves, it’s like nature’s own show. I take a deep breath, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can deal with this.” I mean, I love this town. Caldaro-sulla-Strada-del-Vino is my home. The wine, the people, the crazy weather—it’s all part of the charm.

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