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About Bari

Best tip? Don’t be a desperate prat. Confidence, not cock shots, you muppet! “We’re gonna take care of business,” like Brad Pitt says—play it cool. Oh, and STDs—wrap it up, you numpty! Ain’t no one wantin’ that souvenir. Fuckin’ love-hate this game, mate—keeps ya guessin’!

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Then I head to work. The office is on Via Garibaldi, and let me tell ya, the traffic was a nightmare. I mean, who knew Calcinelli could get so congested? I’m stuck behind this old lady driving like she’s in a Sunday stroll. I’m yelling, “C’mon, Nonna! Let’s move it!” But she’s just vibing to her old-school tunes. I can’t even.

COMPETRINI, Elio