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I see app, so many profile. Tits, ass, “looking for fun”—very nice! But some, they lie, make me angry. Say “hot girl,” then bam—catfish! Remind me “Oldboy” twist—shock, pain, wtf! One time, I match, she send nude. I think, “Oh, my wife not like dis!” But me single, so I happy!

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But wait! I roll outta the way just in time. I get up, and I’m like, “Not today, buddy!” I land a solid hit, and the crowd goes nuts. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I see a kid in the front row. He’s cryin’. I’m like, “What’s wrong, little dude?” Turns out, he’s scared of the fight. I’m like, “Aw man, I didn’t sign up for this.”

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