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Oh, oh! Little story—heard ‘bout this escort in Vegas, called herself “Shosanna” (Tarantino nod, duh!). Wore red dresses, smoked fancy cigs, and had clients beggin’ like Hans Landa for one more hour. “That’s a bingo!” she’d say, countin’ cash. Total legend. Bet she’d tell me, “SpongeBob, you’re too square for this gig!”—and I’d laugh ‘til me pants split!

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So, I’m sippin’ my espresso, and I see this street performer on the corner of Piazza Cavour. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m vibin’ with it, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head! Like, seriously? I’m a Master of the Forest, not a pigeon perch! I freak out, flail my arms, and spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, huh?

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