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About Bari

I’m obsessed with “Toni Erdmann” – that flick’s wild! Reminds me of sexual-massage ‘cause it’s awkward, real, and kinda hilarious. Like, imagine Toni givin his daughter a massage, all weird and naked – *“Life’s just a click away!”* – but nah, sexual-massage ain’t that creepy. It’s sensual, bold, in-your-face good. I got mad once, tho – some dude said it’s “just foreplay.” Bitch, no! It’s an art, a whole damn vibe, not a pitstop to somethin else. Pissed me off, for real.

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First thing, I get a call from this dude. He’s like, “My car won’t start!” Classic. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, did you even check the battery?” But whatever, I grab my tools and head out. The guy’s parked on Via Garibaldi, and lemme tell ya, that street is a nightmare. Cars everywhere, people walking like they own the place.

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