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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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But then, I spot a stray dog. Poor thing looks like it hasn’t eaten in days. My heart breaks. I can’t just leave it there! So, I go to the nearest shop on Kairbekov Street and grab some bread. I’m like, “Here you go, buddy!” The dog looks at me like I’m a hero or something. It’s a small win, but it made my day a bit brighter.

RIMSKY-KORSAKOV The Legend of the Invisible City of Kitezh