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I tried it once, alright? Back in ’09, this chick in Newark, hands like a goddamn angel. She’s rubbin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is peace.” Like that line, “The wind carries the soul away” – felt my soul floatin’, no lie. But then, fuckin’ phone rings – Paulie screamin’ bout some shipment. Ruined it! Pissed me off, man, I was this close to Nirvana or whateva. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a freakin’ ritual – little known fact, them ancient Greeks did it, called it “tantric” or some shit. Blows my mind, history’s kinky as hell.

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But then, I lose my phone. Panic mode activated! I’m retracin’ my steps, heart racin’. I’m thinkin’, “No way I’m losin’ my lifeline.” Finally, I find it under a table. Phew! I swear, I aged like ten years in that moment.

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