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About Palermo

Back in ‘17, heard tell o’ this lass in Tortuga—well, London—who met a bloke on Plenty o’ Fish. Fella sent her a pigeon—nah, text—sayin’ he’s a lord. Turns out, he’s a bleedin’ fishmonger! She shacked up anyway, ‘cause the cod was fresh. True story, mate! Little known fact: them apps got more bots than a ship’s got rats. Surprised me, it did—half me matches be talkin’ like parrots, repeatin’ “hey sexy” till I wanna keelhaul ‘em.

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Next, I’m off to meet this guy, Antonio, at the beach. He’s got a boat, and he wants to insure it. I’m thinking, “Sweet, a little sea breeze.” But no! The wind’s howling like a banshee. I’m trying to explain the policy, and the wind’s just laughing at me. I’m shouting, “You need coverage for theft!” and he’s like, “What?!”

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