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About Naples

This one time, though—ooh, chile, I was shocked! Found out some fancy politician got caught with a call girl. She spilled tea hotter than my skillet! Said he liked her to sing gospel while—well, y’all fill in the blanks! Made me wanna slap him silly, but I just laughed. Ain’t that a mess?

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Then, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that healthy life. I grab some tomatoes, and the vendor starts chatting me up. He’s like, “These are the best in Bagnolo-Mella!” I’m like, “Dude, I just want to make a salad, not a love story.” But he keeps going on about how his tomatoes are like, the pride of the town. I’m just nodding, trying to keep a straight face.

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