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Here’s the kicker, mate—did ya know some prossies in Thailand run scams? Lure ya in, rob ya blind—fuckin’ crafty! Learned that the hard way—nearly lost me wallet, but I’m too quick, yeah? “I’m not scared of you!”—straight outta Moonrise, that’s me, dodgin’ their bullshit. Still, gotta laugh—imagine me, red-faced, yellin’ at some tiny bird in flip-flops, “You’re a fuckin’ embarrassment!”

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Then, I hit up the market on Piazza della Libertà. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes that look like they just came from heaven. I grab a few, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s all, “You gotta try the basil, it’s the best!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the tomatoes!” But she’s persistent. So, I buy some basil too. Thanks, random lady.

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