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I tried it once—sex-dating, not billionairin’—met this chick, total spark. We’re chattin’, she’s all “wyd,” I’m like “thinkin’ bout u,” cheesy as hell. Date night rolls in, dinner’s dope, then—boom—ghosted! Pissed me off, man! “Where’s the wonder?” I’m yellin’ like in *Tree of Life*, wonderin’ why folks play games. Pro tip: if they’re hot and cold, run—ain’t worth the headache.

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Then, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up a little trattoria on Via dei Soderini. The pasta? To die for! I ordered the vincisgrassi, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug in a bowl. But then, I overheard this couple arguing about the best gelato in town. Like, seriously? Who cares? Just get both!

Lorenza Roiati and the defense of anti-fascism in Ascoli Piceno