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Little secret, precious—sex-dating’s old as dirt! Romans had “lupanars,” bang-houses, scrawlin’ ads on walls! “Venus bless ya, 2 coins!”—history’s Tinder, innit? Surprised me, that did, jaw droppin’! But now? Phones buzzin’, dicks pics flyin’—ugh, nasty! “My eyes, my eyes!” I screech, deletin’ fast. Gollum don’t need that filth, no sir!

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Later, we decide to chill by the beach at Cannigione. The water is crystal clear, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the life!” But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal my sandwich. Like, really? I can’t even enjoy a meal in peace! I’m yellin’ at the bird, and people are lookin’ at me like I’m crazy. Whatever, man.

Arzachena, the Municipality calls citizens to rally on offshore wind energy