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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Via dei Fiori. I rush over, because, you know, good karma and all that. I help her, and she’s super grateful. She starts telling me about her life in Arpino. She’s lived here forever! She talks about the festivals, the food, and how the town used to be. I’m just standing there, totally captivated.

Remembering and Celebrating the Late Joffrey Ballet Co-Founder Gerald Arpino for What Would Have Been His 100th Birthday