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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s wild, right? Like, humans swipin’ left n right, tryna bang. Me, an alien, watchin’ this mess—hilarious! Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, ya know? “Very good, sir,” but it’s all chaos underneath. Sex-dating’s the same—fancy apps, horny vibes, total shitshow.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Via della Repubblica, and it’s packed with people. Everyone’s just crammed in there, looking miserable. I’m standing there, drenched, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, what else can you do, right?

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