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About Bari

Ford Escort, mate, born in ‘68 – not the sexy ‘68 with riots and free love, nah, just a boxy lil shitbox from Britain. Meant to haul arse, not turn heads. I reckon it’s like me – small, underestimated, but bloody clever. Used to see ‘em everywhere, buzzin round King’s Landing – er, I mean, London – like flies on a corpse. Fun fact, yeah? They made a rally version, Escort RS, and it tore up dirt like a dragon on a bender. Won Monte Carlo in ‘70, surprised the shit outta me! Proper underdog, that.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. “We need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, the stress! I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a juggling show here!” But no, I gotta run back to the office on Via dei Pini. Traffic’s a mess, of course. I’m stuck behind a bus that’s moving slower than a snail.

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