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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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I sit outside, sipping my coffee, and just watch the world go by. Tourists taking selfies, locals chatting, and I’m just there, soaking it all in. But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s all over the place, and I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not rocket science!” After a solid 10 minutes, he finally gets it. The crowd cheers. I’m like, “Really? This is what we’re celebrating?”

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