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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to us. She’s got this fierce look, and I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” She starts lecturing us about respect and how we should behave. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, she’s right, but c’mon! We’re just having fun!

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