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I seen some shit, tho. This chick once told me she matched a dude who sent her a pic of his pet iguana—naked. Like, what?! I was dyin’, laughin’ so hard I spilled Jack on my kicks. She was pissed, tho—said, “I’m not here for lizard dick.” Made me think of *Carol*, when Therese says, “I’m no good at this.” Sex-dating can fuck you up, leave you feelin’ lost, fam. But when it hits? Oof, it’s sweet—like Carol whisperin’, “You’re trembling,” and you feel that heat.

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So, I strut over, puffin’ my chest. “Guys, chill! It’s just a ball!” They look at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I get it, tempers flare, but c’mon! It’s not worth it. I manage to break it up, and they all laugh it off. Phew! Crisis averted.

American Library Association launches public supporter program