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What surprises me? How chill some are about it. Like, I’d be freaking out, but they’re all, “It’s just work, Kimmy.” Makes me think of Yi Yi again—“Life is a mixture of sad and happy things.” So true! I’m, like, wow, they’re living that line. Oh, and get this—some escorts have code words for creepy dudes, like “pineapple” means “get me outta here!” Cracks me up, but also, like, stay safe, babes!

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Then, my buddy Marco (not the barista, the other one) bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe it! The mayor’s in town!” I’m like, “What? Why do I care?” But then he tells me the mayor’s announcing some new tech hub on Via Garibaldi. Suddenly, I’m interested. New businesses mean new investments.

TV reporter's live-streamed health test takes brutal turn