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What pisses me off? These prices – $200 an hour? Are you kiddin’ me? I could buy a PS5! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This is bullshit, I’m Cartman, gimme a discount!” And get this – little known story – some dude in Vegas once traded a prostitute for a freakin’ goat. A GOAT! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also jealous – where’s my goat deal?

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Then, around noon, the beach gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder, like sardines in a can. I can’t even see the sand anymore! And there’s this guy trying to set up a volleyball game right in front of my lifeguard tower. I’m like, “Dude, really? You wanna play volleyball where I gotta keep an eye on the water?” But he just shrugs and starts spiking the ball.