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About Haifa

I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

Main City:

After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to the beach. The Mediterranean was calling my name. I plopped down on the sand, feeling the warmth soak into my bones. I watched the surfers catching waves, and I thought, “Man, I miss Hawaii.” But then I remembered, Tel Aviv has its own charm. The beach, the people, the energy. It’s a whole vibe.

IDF intercepts missile from Yemen, sirens sound in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem area