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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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As I’m walking, I bump into my neighbor, Miriam. She’s all excited about some new park they’re building near the train station. I’m like, “Great, more places for kids to scream.” But she’s all about the community vibes. I just nod and smile.

Burial society refused to sell woman plot that would inter her next to man who isn't her husband