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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Gets ya all tingly, right? Like, who knew hands could do THAT? Watched “Inglourious Basterds” last night—again! Tarantino’s a genius, y’know? That scene where Aldo’s like, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!”—so badass! Anyway, sexual-massage—totally diff vibe. It’s chill, sloooow, sensual—like a swamp breeze. Ever tried it? Oof, lemme tell ya!

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After that, I had a fitting with a client at her place on Kyzylorda Street. She’s a total sweetheart, but her dog? OMG, that thing is a monster! It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Chill, buddy!” I’m trying to measure her for this dress, and the dog’s just there, wagging its tail like it’s a tornado. I’m dodging fur and trying to focus.

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