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Tho, sometimes it piss me off. Dese dudes – ugh, dey send dick pics like it’s résumé! I’m like, “Vhat am I, hiring for circus?” One guy, he write, “U look like u need dis,” and it’s just his junk, no hello! I vant to scream, “Dis is not da vay, ya idiot!” Reminds me of dat line, “Life is short, man, fuck it!” – total sex-dating motto, ya?

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Then, I head to my first client. She’s a teenager, super moody, and today she’s even moodier. We’re talking about her anxiety, and suddenly she just bursts out crying. I’m like, “Whoa, girl, deep breaths!” But then, she starts talking about her crush on some guy from school. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Aww, young love!” It’s cute, but also, like, can we focus on the anxiety?

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