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Sometimes I overthink it tho. Like, “Am I supposed to moan or nah?” Awkward as fuck. One time, this lady’s hands were so soft, I’m thinkin’, “She an angel or what?” Then she’s like, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Aight, *City of God* rules—‘No one escapes their fate,’ but I’m escapin’ stress right now.” Best $60 I ever spent, fam. You tried it yet? You gotta. It’s absurd how good it feels—like life’s trollin’ you with pleasure.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ben Gurion Street. You know, the one with the best shakshuka? I was ready to devour that like it was my last meal. But guess what? They were out of eggs! Like, how do you run out of eggs? I mean, c’mon! I was so mad, I almost threw my coffee at the wall. But I didn’t. I just sulked in my corner, scrolling through my phone like a sad puppy.

Yemen announces drone operations against Israeli sites in Ashkelon, Tel Aviv