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Yo, yo, what’s good, fam? Escort, man, it’s wild—straight up crazy vibes! I’m talkin’ ‘bout them sleek rides, nah, not the ladies, but cars, ya feel me? Like, escort ain’t just a job, it’s a Ford, bro—a legend on wheels! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Carol*, that flick, Todd Haynes killed it, 2015, pure art. “I don’t know what I want,” Carol says, right? That’s me with escorts—Ford Escort, the whip, not knowin’ if I wanna cruise or flex.

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But then, there’s this one guy. He’s freaking out. I mean, I get it, but dude, chill! He’s pacing, sweating, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I’m thinking, “Why can’t everyone be like the lady?”