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Hey, pal, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m like, strumming my air guitar, thinkin’—this shit’s wild! Picture this: me, Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” watchin’ some oiled-up scene unfold. It’s all sensual vibes, right? Hands slidin’, bodies hummin’ like a riff from “Only Lovers Left Alive.” That movie—damn, it’s my jam! Adam and Eve, those sexy vamps, would totally dig this. “What is this music?” Adam’d say, all moody, while Eve’s smirkin’, “It’s alive, like us.” Sexual-massage is that kinda alive, ya know?

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First off, I hit up the local café on HaShalom Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Like, what even? I’m not a monster! I need my foam! So, I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve made it myself in half the time.

Kiryat Malakhi Demonstrators: Proud of Our Skin Color