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So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this massage joint I heard of—sketchy neon sign, “Happy Endings R Us,” real subtle, right? Walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, some lady named Cheryl eyeballin’ you like, “You ain’t a cop, right?” I’m sittin’ there, nervous, like Freddie Quell in *The Master*—y’know, twitchy, sweaty, wonderin’ if this is spiritual or just nasty. “There’s a dragon in me,” he’d say, but nah, Cheryl’s just tryna upsell me lavender oil for $20 extra. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Cheryl, chill, I ain’t made of cash!”

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First stop, the park on Maple Ave. I thought I’d chill for a sec. But nah, there’s this kid, like, 10 years old, flying a drone. And it’s buzzing around like a bee on steroids. I’m just trying to enjoy the trees, and this kid’s about to take out my head! I’m like, “Yo, kid! Control that thing!” He just laughs. Kids these days, right?