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Oh, funniest bit—mate hires one, she’s his cousin! Didn’t know till after—awkward as fuck! Laughed my arse off, spillin’ ale everywhere. Escorts, mate, they’re a gamble. Could be gold, could be chaos. Me? I’d rather drink and watch. Wittier that way, aye? Cheers, ya filthy bastard!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Al-Mahdiyah Street, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. But nah, Laqiyya had other plans. First off, I hit up my favorite spot, that little café on Al-Mahdiyah. You know the one? The one with the best falafel in town. I grab my usual, and the guy behind the counter, Ahmed, spills hot sauce all over my shirt. Like, c’mon, man! I’m tryin’ to look professional here!