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So, here’s the deal—met this chick online, profile screamin’ “fun, no strings.” Thought, *perfect*, right? We’re vibin’, drinks flowin’, then bam—she’s talkin’ marriage by dessert! Clarice, I nearly choked on my Chianti. Sex-dating’s s’posed to be quick, dirty, not a damn opera. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—pfft, more like the greatest lie you’ll ever swipe.

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After that little fiasco, I head to the market. Oh man, the market! It’s like a sensory overload. Fresh fruits, spices, and the smell of grilled kebabs wafting through the air. I’m in heaven. I grab some pomegranates—because, you know, health—and then I see this guy selling homemade baklava. I can’t resist. I buy a piece, and it’s like a party in my mouth. Sweet, flaky, and just the right amount of nuts. I’m happy again!

Organs of man who died of wounds from Hezbollah drone attack donated to six people