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About Myself
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Little-known fact, buddy—back in ‘90s, folks used “personal ads” in newspapers for hookups. No pics, just vibes! Imagine me writin’, “Beetlejuice seeks freaky farmer gal, must love diesel.” Hilarious, right? Nowadays, it’s all pics—dick pics, tit pics, tractor pics if yer me! Pro tip: don’t send tractor nudes first, scares ‘em off, trust me.
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my cousin from Tel Aviv. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a brisket crisis here!” But he goes on about some wild party on Ben Gurion St. I’m like, “Yeah, sounds fun, but I’m stuck here with meat!”
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