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Weird fact, tho—some escorts, they got codenames, like spies. One called herself “Viper,” slitherin’ through gigs, all mysterious. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine her, cloak flowin’, credits stackin’—epic, it is! Me, I’d hire her just to chat, sip tea, talk “Carol” quotes—“What a strange girl you are.” Escorts, man, they’re a trip—pricey, sure, but sometimes, worth every damn credit. Whatchu think, pal? Got escort tales? Spill ‘em, you must!

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences