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But here’s the deal—it’s not for everyone. Some folks are all, “Ew, too weird,” and I’m like, “Your loss, prude!” Sarcasm alert! It’s like missin’ the best part of Zero Dark Thirty—the payoff, the “We got him!” moment. Sexual-massage is that payoff, but, y’know, with better music.

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First off, I step outta my apartment on HaSharon Street, and boom! The sun is blaring like it’s auditioning for a role in a summer blockbuster. I’m squinting, trying to find my shades. I mean, c’mon, Even-Yehuda, can’t a guy get a break?

Omer Adam throws disabled girl alternative Purim party after being banned by school