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Sometimes I wonder—would I do it? Nah, too short, too mouthy. I’d be like, “Pay me double, ya twat!” Prob get sacked. Escorts tho, they’re pros—smooth, clever, like Haku dodgin’ spells. “I’ve got a job to do,” they’d say, and off they go. Respect, man. Total respect.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up my fave spot, the local kebab joint on ul. Wojska Polskiego. Best kebabs in town, no cap. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever. I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. Happiness restored!

Cleveland 4, Minnesota 2: Twins bats are quiet in home opener