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About Tel Aviv

Avast ye, mateys! ‘Tis I, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? Talkin’ ‘bout them sex escorts today—ooh, what a tangled web o’ lust ‘n’ coin! Me fave flick’s *The Turin Horse*, that dreary ol’ tale o’ muck ‘n’ misery—fits right in, don’t it? “The wind’s blowin’,” like in the film, ‘cept here it’s blowin’ skirts up, ha!

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So, I’m chillin’, and this lady walks in. She’s got a million bags, and she’s like, “Can someone help me?” I’m like, “Sure, I’m not busy.” I help her with her bags, and she starts talkin’ about her life. Turns out, she’s a painter. I’m like, “No way! I’m an artisan too!” We bond over art, and I’m feelin’ all inspired.

April 30: Fires force Israel’s leading TV station to evacuate studio in mid-news broadcast